Thoughts on Tables

The teams at Lakeshore face difficult challenges on a daily basis. Recently, one of these most crucial dilemmas has been the arrangement of tables and chairs in our dining hall. This may remind you of a saying, "rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic," which supposedly illustrates the futility of attempting to solve irrelevant problems at a time of epic crisis. However, this saying is not appropriate as we are not on the Titanic, at least last I checked. I believe we are in Mississippi, and therefore the question of arranging tables and chairs is a very valid issue. You may think this is an unimportant problem. It is actually vital to the success of this project. Let us imagine what would happen without tables and chairs. As people receive their plates piled high with delicious nourishment, they would glance around the room to find an empty chair. Finding a room empty of chairs instead, they would stand there for a few more minutes, pondering the gravity of the situation. The line of pondering people would grow, while the food would become cold. Some may attempt to eat while standing, but this is not advisable. It is very easy to make a mess while doing it. Some people might sit on the floor, but they could easily become victims of those standing above them as they inadvertently drop their plates. The situation could escalate very quickly.

Therefore, with the importance of tables and chairs being established, there are many crucial considerations in determining how to place these objects. Logically speaking, there are several possibilities. The tables could be on one side of the room with the chairs piled on the other. This would be most efficient, space-wise. However, it does not encourage the effective use of tables and chairs during the process of eating. Chairs could be placed upon the tables, but this also has many complications. Another option is to arrange tables and chairs in the conventional method, but place them more closely together as to maximize space. However, this may result in much frustration as the unfortunate folks who go through the line first find themselves at the far end of a table. When they have finished eating their meal and prepare to exit, on one side there is a wall. Walls are generally not good exit options, unless in an emergency. On the other side is a solid line of people, chairs back-to-back, with this line appearing to stretch on ad infinitum. It is humanly impossibly to extricate yourself from this position. You may wonder how I can make that statement with such confidence. It is because I have been in such a situation myself. It is impossible, save for divine intervention, which has not occurred yet.

Today was an auspicious occasion as another table arrangement was tested. Yesterday the tables were moved so that the rows were 12 inches apart rather than 2 inches. It was an immense step forward. This is progress! It became possible to exit a table after eating, and this was a very beneficial innovation. So today the tables were moved yet again. There is mixed feedback on it. Mixed feedback meaning that I and one other person disagree about the benefits of this new arrangement. I consulted with my math expert and she determined that we gained 2/5th of a table worth of seating. I think that means that this new arrangement today allows four more people to sit inside rather than suffering the blasts of wind sweeping across Lakeshore from, well, wherever the wind comes from, presumably the west, but maybe the Gulf. I will need to do further research on this before I make a definitive statement. This new arrangement included moving the tables from...ummm...my internal compass is experiencing technical difficulties. Let's just say the orientation of the tables was changed so that they ran east/west instead of north/south or vice versa. My strong intuitive sense told me that this was more crowded than the arrangement from yesterday. The data says that we gained four seats from it. I asked my math consultant if the benefit of four chairs outweighed the sense of cramped space. She wisely answered, "the benefit would outweigh the drawbacks if you were one of those four who could sit inside now."

With the conflict of my intuition and the wise counsel of my friend, I'm not sure if this new arrangement is good or bad. I will withhold my final opinion until, well, I'm not sure when. I'll let you know if or when I do actually figure it out.